Bin Laden Comes Clean, War On Terror Continues

Geege geege at
Thu Jan 15 05:13:20 PST 2004

ha ha.  sadam is bin laden.  <poke poke>  give me all your money so i can
ice him. <jab jab>  there, now we're all safer and i'm a hero.  <wink wink>
someone hand me a flight suit - quick! tee hee.

you kill me.


-----Original Message-----
From: fork-bounces at [mailto:fork-bounces at]On Behalf Of
Gordon Mohr
Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2004 1:52 AM
To: FoRK Mailing List
Subject: Re: Bin Laden Comes Clean, War On Terror Continues

Osama is just an imaginary creature like the Tooth Fairy, hee hee.
Al Qaeda's attacks and plans were just bedtime scary stories, ha ha.
I suppose the 3,000 people who "died" will be emerging any moment
now to rib us about their elaborate prank, ho ho.

You crack me up.

- Gordon

Ian Andrew Bell wrote:
> Bin Laden Comes Clean, War On Terror Continues
> REUTERS - Washington, DC
> Osama Bin Laden today announced his retirement and the disbanding of Al
> Qaeda, stating that he simply had underestimated Al Qaeda's
> fear-mongering capabilities, and can no longer compete with the Bush
> Government in the battle to scare the living shit out of Americans.
> In his brief, teary-eyed statement, Bin Laden stated "We tried so hard
> to make your people bend in fear, but our resources were so limited,"
> adding that "only a true genius could incite a people to such
> enslavement by forcing them to x-ray their shoes."
> When asked for comment, Donald Rumsfeld snapped back "There is still a
> clear and present danger posed to America by several groups we are
> tracking," noting that certain specific and credible intelligence
> indicates that their activities are on the rise.  When asked to name
> names, Rumsfeld pointed to a regular rogue's gallery, including "we're
> watching the bogeyman, the Sasquatch, the Headless Horseman, Lex Luthor,
> and we're very concerned about the Tooth Fairy."
> George W. Bush added "There's a saying that may sound a little down-home
> Texas to the rest of you folks, but it goes something like 'We're gonna
> kick your ass, Mr. Tooth Fairy.'"
> The nation has been put on threat condition orange after several midwest
> farmers were caught sowing seeds for pumpkins, which are rumored to be
> used as head gear for the Headless Horseman.  Those farmers are being
> detained at camp X-Ray in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
> Meanwhile, the US Marines Expeditionary Force is preparing for an
> invasion of Northern British Columbia, where it is reputed the Sasquatch
> roams free, unfettered by a complacent Canadian government.  A UN
> commission set up to investigate Sasquatch's use Weapons of Mass
> Destruction has so far been stymied by the cunning 7.5-foot tall homo
> erectus.
> "He must be kept away from our children," proclaimed Bush, adding that
> "being a homo is one thing, but walking around like that all the time is
> quite another."
> As coincidence would have it, Western Canada supplies much of the
> world's conventional crude oil and natural gas.
> Fighting in Spuzzum, British Columbia between unknown forces and a U.S.
> Delta Force unit has been unanticipatedly fierce and the U.S. Army
> reports losing two Black Hawk helicopters, fifteen humvees, and a set of
> dentures.   A daring midnight rescue of a U.S. Army Training Officer
> captured during combat, apparently being held captive at Brandy's, a
> high end strip club in Vancouver famous for also holding Ben Affleck
> against his will, was captured on video and is being televised on
> Pay-Per-View.  Jerry Buckheimer has inked a deal for the film rights
> with the as-yet-unnamed US soldier, who is said to be recovering in at
> the Chicken Ranch, an acute care facility outside Las Vegas.
> As the War On Terror has stepped up pace, U.S. Citizens are taking the
> increased security measures in stride.  Said one traveling salesman "I
> think it's OK that we have to board airline flights naked, as long as it
> makes us safer."
> ----
> -Ian.
>  detox your inbox.
> _______________________________________________
> FoRK mailing list

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