[FoRK] Through the Looking Glass

jbone at place.org jbone at place.org
Thu Feb 12 08:25:29 PST 2004

Yes, friends, it's Thursday.  That means it's "opposite day."  As 
Maureen says, "it all makes sense" now.  Via a friend:



The Khan Artist

Published: February 12, 2004

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Columnist Page: Maureen Dowd

Forum: Discuss This Column

E-mail: liberties at nytimes.com


Budgets and Budgeting

United States Politics and Government

United States Armament and Defense


I think President Bush has cleared up everything now.

The U.S. invaded Iraq, which turned out not to have what our pals in
Pakistan did have and were giving out willy-nilly to all the bad guys
except Iraq, which wouldn't take it.

Bush officials thought they knew what was going on inside our enemy's
country: that Iraq had W.M.D. and might sell them on the black market. 
they were wrong.

Bush officials thought they knew what was going on inside our friend's
country: that Pakistanis were trying to sell W.M.D. on the black market.
But they couldn't prove it — until about the time we were invading Iraq.

"The grave and gathering threat" turned out to be not Saddam's mushroom
cloud but the president's mushrooming deficits.

The president is having just as hard a time finding his National Guard
records as Iraqi W.M.D. — and those pay stubs look as murky as those
satellite photos of trucks in Iraq.

Mr. Bush said yesterday that smaller developing countries must stop
developing nuclear fuel, even as the U.S. develops a whole new arsenal 
smaller nuclear weapons to use against smaller developing countries that
might be thinking about developing nuclear fuel.

After he weakened the U.N. for telling the truth about Iraq's 
W.M.D., Mr. Bush now calls on the U.N. to be strong going after W.M.D.

Gen. Pervez Musharraf pardoned the Pakistani hero and nuclear huckster
Abdul Qadeer Khan after an embarrassing debacle, praising the 
service to his country. Mr. Bush pardoned George Tenet after an
embarrassing debacle, praising the spook's service to his country. (So
much for Mr. Bush's preachy odes to responsibility and accountability.)

The president warned yesterday that "the greatest threat before 
is the possibility of a sudden W.M.D. attack. Not wanting nuclear
technology to go to North Korea, Iran or Libya, the White House demanded
tighter controls on black-market sales of W.M.D., even while praising 
good buddy Pakistan, whose scientists were running a black market like a
Sam's Club for nukes, peddling to North Korea, Iran and Libya.

Mr. Bush likes to present the world in black and white, as good and 
even as he's made a Faustian deal with General Musharraf, perhaps hoping
that one day — maybe even on an October day — the cagey general will
decide to cough up Osama.

The president is spending $1.5 billion to persuade more Americans to 
happy married lives, but plans to keep gay Americans from having happy
married lives.

Mr. Bush said he wouldn't try to overturn abortion rights. But John
Ashcroft is intimidating women who had certain abortions by subpoenaing
records in six hospitals in New York, Philadelphia and elsewhere.

The president set up the intelligence commission (with few intelligence
experts) because, he said, the best intelligence is needed to win the 
on terror. Yet he doesn't want us to get the panel's crucial report 
after he's won the war on Kerry.

Mr. Bush said he had balked at giving the 9/11 commission the records of
his daily briefings from the C.I.A. until faced with a subpoena threat
because it might deter the C.I.A. from giving the president "good, 
information." Wasn't it such "good, honest information" that caused him 
miss 9/11 and mobilize the greatest war machine in history against
Saddam's empty cupboard?

Mr. Bush says he's working hard to create new jobs in America, while his
top economist says it's healthy for jobs to be shipped overseas.

The president told Tim Russert that if you order a country to disarm and
it doesn't and you don't act, you lose face. But how does a country that
goes to war to disarm a country without arms get back its face?

Mr. Bush said he was troubled that the Vietnam War was "a political 
because civilian politicians didn't let the generals decide how to fight
it. But when Gen. Eric Shinseki presciently told Congress in February 
that postwar Iraq would need several hundred thousand U.S. soldiers to
keep it secure and supplied, he was swatted down by the Bush
administration's civilian politicians.

Yes, it all makes perfect sense, through the Bush looking glass.

E-mail: liberties at nytimes.com

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