[FoRK] Federal government will guarantee house values

Gregory Alan Bolcer gbolcer at endeavors.com
Wed Mar 3 06:46:18 PST 2004

Russell Turpin wrote:
>>  exploding whale carcass:
>Great video, that.
It should just evaporate, right? 

One year when I was lifeguarding down on one of the tourist beaches in Laguna, there was a 500 pound sea lion that washed up in the "ecological preserve" which is a state protected stretch of beach where you can't leave anything behind nor take anything out .   Every once in a while, you had to go patrol the rocks in between Picnic Beach and Rockpile to make sure that nobody tripped and fell on the sea-slimed covered boulders.  You typically had to jump barefooted from one to the other and a 500 pound bloated sea lion corpse looks exactly like a large, sea drenched boulder.  It's very difficult to describe the feeling of having the shock and surprise of your foot sinking into what you thought was going to be a nice sturdy standing place.  The first day I called it in, they told me to pick it up with a pair of gloves and put it into a trash can (500 pounds).  The second day the city trash handlers came down and were so disgusted that they left without lifting it (the rapidly decaying 500 pound sea lion corpse) up two flights of stairs up the bluff, across the park and into their trash truck.   On the third day of being gassed to death on the beach, I finally decided to take drastic action as the city weighed in that it was all part of the natural ecological process despite making 500 feet in each direction uninhabitable with second hand sea lion corpse gases.   My co-worker and I snuck down after dark and doused the thing with two gallons of gasoline and lit it on fire.  Gosh darn if that thing didn't explode.  We went back to the local gas station across from Main beach covered in sea lion crap and oily smoke and bought another gallon which we used to "cleanup".   The next day it was like Moses bringing the tablets down from the mount, everyone wanted to know what happened.   Wyland would be spinning in his grave. 


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