[FoRK] Way Too Much Crap
Joseph S. Barrera III
joe at barrera.org
Wed Mar 3 23:09:27 PST 2004
What a sad, sad life.
'He'd certainly never run out of things to do; in addition to all his
toys (he claims to own every form of music player available), he has a
sprawling CD collection, including one 60-disc lamp-rack filled entirely
with Frank Zappa CDs. Tellingly, the general chaos of the place doesn't
touch his music collection. "Of course it's alphabetized," he says,
incredulous. "How could you find anything otherwise?"'
P.S. I wonder what he drives.
A serendipity museum
WHO: Dan "The Mouth" Lovranski, 37, host of MOJO Radio Sunday night
wrestling program The LAW, music journalist, singer for punk band
Bruiser Brody and closed-captioner for a video production house; Van
Gogh, one-eared Scottish fold cat.
WHAT: A 850-square-foot, one-bedroom on the top floor of a house.
WHERE: Off Danforth, between Greenwood and Coxwell.
HOW MUCH: $650 per month inclusive.
HOW LONG: More than 10 years.
FAVOURITE THING: Lovranski, an enthusiastic guy in general, is
particularly fond of his hallway closet, which has shelves that are the
perfect size for storing his countless vinyl records on.
LEAST FAVOURITE THING: "Uhh... jeez. I guess it could be a little
bigger," he says.
THE STORY: Feb. 25 is the birthdate of Ric Flair, 16-time Heavyweight
Champion of the World in both the WCW and WWF (now WWE) and arguably the
most celebrated professional wrestler in history. It's also the day I
visit Lovranski, an avid wrestling fan whose apartment is a veritable
shrine to trash culture, and to wrestling in particular.
"When I was in high school, one of my buddies lived in a house just like
this, and his mother had all her little trinkets on the ledges of the
doors -- bottles and vials and antique stuff," Lovranski says. "And I
thought, 'That's the coolest idea in the world.' So when I moved in, I
noticed every single ledge was like that, and I just did that with the
artifacts of my era."
Said artifacts have since outgrown the ledges and bled over onto just
about everything Lovranski owns. The couch in his living room (the most
adorned room in the place) is lined with talking wrestling dolls. His
coffee table is entirely covered with arcane B-movie DVDs, his fridge is
crowned with an old bass drum and his washroom walls are plastered with
old funk album covers featuring shots of half-clad women.
"This is kind of like my homage to cheesy easy-listening records where
they put chicks on the covers," Lovranski says. "Look at this one --
they actually have the nipple sticking out through her crocheted top."
The bathroom is by the front staircase, between Lovranski's bedroom, a
relatively plain, square space stocked with cardboard boxes of unopened
wrestling figures, and his kitchen, a dimly lit rectangle that doubles
as an office (complete with iMac and a surprisingly uncluttered desk).
For a collector like Lovranski, one of the best features of the room is
not something unique, but rather something it shares with every other
room in the place: an ample closet.
"Every frickin' room has one!" he says. "It's unheard of."
The kitchen (which looks out over a huge, quasi-suburban backyard) also
houses a washer-dryer combo, so technically, Lovranski never really has
to leave his place. He'd certainly never run out of things to do; in
addition to all his toys (he claims to own every form of music player
available), he has a sprawling CD collection, including one 60-disc
lamp-rack filled entirely with Frank Zappa CDs. Tellingly, the general
chaos of the place doesn't touch his music collection. "Of course it's
alphabetized," he says, incredulous. "How could you find anything
Beyond that, though, Lovranski says his attitude towards his apartment
is pretty much the same as his attitude towards life: go with the flow.
"The whole place is decorated with whatever I find. Almost 95 per cent
of the stuff in here is from the Goodwill. I wasn't looking for it. It's
kind of like the serendipity museum."
My Apartment is a weekly profile of Torontonians and their rented
spaces. If you know of someone or someplace you'd like to see featured
here, let us know at barchereye.net. Send pictures -- preferably digital
-- if you're able.
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