[FoRK] Way Too Much Crap

Joseph S. Barrera III joe at barrera.org
Wed Mar 3 23:09:27 PST 2004


What a sad, sad life.

'He'd certainly never run out of things to do; in addition to all his 
toys (he claims to own every form of music player available), he has a 
sprawling CD collection, including one 60-disc lamp-rack filled entirely 
with Frank Zappa CDs. Tellingly, the general chaos of the place doesn't 
touch his music collection. "Of course it's alphabetized," he says, 
incredulous. "How could you find anything otherwise?"'

- Joe

P.S. I wonder what he drives.

http://www.eye.net/eye/issue/issue_03.04.04/plus/myapt.html

MY APARTMENT 
A serendipity museum

WHO: Dan "The Mouth" Lovranski, 37, host of MOJO Radio Sunday night 
wrestling program The LAW, music journalist, singer for punk band 
Bruiser Brody and closed-captioner for a video production house; Van 
Gogh, one-eared Scottish fold cat.

WHAT: A 850-square-foot, one-bedroom on the top floor of a house.

WHERE: Off Danforth, between Greenwood and Coxwell.

HOW MUCH: $650 per month inclusive.

HOW LONG: More than 10 years.

FAVOURITE THING: Lovranski, an enthusiastic guy in general, is 
particularly fond of his hallway closet, which has shelves that are the 
perfect size for storing his countless vinyl records on.

LEAST FAVOURITE THING: "Uhh... jeez. I guess it could be a little 
bigger," he says.

THE STORY: Feb. 25 is the birthdate of Ric Flair, 16-time Heavyweight 
Champion of the World in both the WCW and WWF (now WWE) and arguably the 
most celebrated professional wrestler in history. It's also the day I 
visit Lovranski, an avid wrestling fan whose apartment is a veritable 
shrine to trash culture, and to wrestling in particular.

"When I was in high school, one of my buddies lived in a house just like 
this, and his mother had all her little trinkets on the ledges of the 
doors -- bottles and vials and antique stuff," Lovranski says. "And I 
thought, 'That's the coolest idea in the world.' So when I moved in, I 
noticed every single ledge was like that, and I just did that with the 
artifacts of my era."

Said artifacts have since outgrown the ledges and bled over onto just 
about everything Lovranski owns. The couch in his living room (the most 
adorned room in the place) is lined with talking wrestling dolls. His 
coffee table is entirely covered with arcane B-movie DVDs, his fridge is 
crowned with an old bass drum and his washroom walls are plastered with 
old funk album covers featuring shots of half-clad women.

"This is kind of like my homage to cheesy easy-listening records where 
they put chicks on the covers," Lovranski says. "Look at this one -- 
they actually have the nipple sticking out through her crocheted top."

The bathroom is by the front staircase, between Lovranski's bedroom, a 
relatively plain, square space stocked with cardboard boxes of unopened 
wrestling figures, and his kitchen, a dimly lit rectangle that doubles 
as an office (complete with iMac and a surprisingly uncluttered desk). 
For a collector like Lovranski, one of the best features of the room is 
not something unique, but rather something it shares with every other 
room in the place: an ample closet.

"Every frickin' room has one!" he says. "It's unheard of."

The kitchen (which looks out over a huge, quasi-suburban backyard) also 
houses a washer-dryer combo, so technically, Lovranski never really has 
to leave his place. He'd certainly never run out of things to do; in 
addition to all his toys (he claims to own every form of music player 
available), he has a sprawling CD collection, including one 60-disc 
lamp-rack filled entirely with Frank Zappa CDs. Tellingly, the general 
chaos of the place doesn't touch his music collection. "Of course it's 
alphabetized," he says, incredulous. "How could you find anything 
otherwise?"

Beyond that, though, Lovranski says his attitude towards his apartment 
is pretty much the same as his attitude towards life: go with the flow.

"The whole place is decorated with whatever I find. Almost 95 per cent 
of the stuff in here is from the Goodwill. I wasn't looking for it. It's 
kind of like the serendipity museum."

My Apartment is a weekly profile of Torontonians and their rented 
spaces. If you know of someone or someplace you'd like to see featured 
here, let us know at barchereye.net. Send pictures -- preferably digital 
-- if you're able.

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