[FoRK] One Anarchy Burger to go, Hold the Government

Gregory Alan Bolcer gbolcer at endeavors.com
Thu Apr 15 10:04:54 PDT 2004



Contempt for Meatheads wrote:
> 
> 
> NB:  The Programmer requests that you please respect the illusion by at 
> least referring to the generating source as, minimum, "Jello Biafra"

You still don't know why Ralf Nader is running for President do you?
In fact, you never even were clueful enough to ask the right questions.
So, not for your education, but for the archive (that last was actually
sent to fork-noarchive because I know you only read the archives, but
mistakently got moderated) as I understand that the nuances of
California politics are difficult for even the most seasoned junkie
and the subtleties of San Francisco politics are a black box for
most all.

Ralf Nader is running for President as the Green Pary candidate
because, if he didn't accept the nomination, the candidate for
2004 would have been Eric Boucher, Mr. Suede Denim Secret Police
captain himself.  Eric Boucher is one of the true leftists in punk
rock, a trend that is first and foremost anti-establishment and second
and foremost anti-welfare/nanny state (re: "tell us what to do, F***
you!", "anarchy burger, hold the government", "I went to your schools,
I went to your institutions").   As The American Enterprise editor,
Brandon Bosworth puts it, "Third party politics are often, by nature,
goofy.....No matter how radical Mr. Public Interest may seem [Ralf
Nader], he is downright sensible in comparison to the aforementioned
Jello Biafra (yes, Eric Boucher is his real name).

The Green Party is on the verge of garnering 5% of the political vote
this year.   This means that next year and next presidential election
season the Green Party could qualify for matching funds.   So, there's
real politics at stake and even further, there's real differences
between the Green party's core beliefs and Mr. Tofu [John Kerry]
who takes on the political tastes of whichever pot he's stewing in.

There's nothing less than a fight for the hearts, minds, and souls of
the Green party.  It's going to be a big one--they are on the brink
of breaking through to be a legitimate political force or on the
brink of being entireley marginalized as a fringe faction.  There's
zero middle ground, so make no mistake, this election is death or
glory for them.   One one side, Nader holding the party together
long enough to qualify for matching funds; the other side is Jello
Biafra (a hospital desert and a civil war defunct African nation)
implementiong a Maoist doctrine of antiestablishmentarianism.

So at the expense of having to splain my April Fool's joke
on multiple levels, what would a Jello Biafra Green Party
platform look like?   We can piece together some guidelines based
on Bosworth's coverage of his 2000 platform in which he infuriated
his whole political base, his cop-killer running mate, and his
campaign manager declaring him insane and unfit for any office
or society.

   o 1st amendment: expect Jello to be an adamant 1st amendment idolater.
   o DEA: Gone.  Complete cessation of the drug war and pardons for all
     drug offenders.  "What does more damage to the planet, drug
     addiction or wealth addiction?"
   o CIA, Nuclear Weapons, Military: abolished.  Don't you guys know that
     the biggest threat to national security is the environmental
     destruction of our planet?  Hell, the Pentagon itself has plans
     for if it happens.  They covered it on Drudge last month.
   o WTO, NAFTA: people don't have the right to free exchange of
     goods and services, it just exposes them to more evil.
   o Minimum Wage: Forget minimum wage, try maximum wage, all
     Americans, their income gets capped at $100,000 annually.
   o Flat Tax: Forget flat tax, but a flattening tax that truly
     levels the playing field so that everyone makes the same.
   o Healthcare/Education: Free healthcare, education, transportation,
     including air travel.  Mandatory re-education of children of
     the rich to be taken away and put in orphanages.
   o Police/Security: Political election of police offiers.
   o Voting Suffrage: lower the voting age to 5.
   o Environment: Eradicating SUVs.  (Bosworth states that Biafra
     has mellowed with age as when he ran for mayor of SF, he
     campaigned on banning all automobiles).
   o Sex Ed: mandatory drug and sex demonstration in class.
   o Anarchy: "We are not evolved enough as a species to make
     anarchy work in society itself."  Where does that leave us?
     Jello is proposing a proletariat of the hippies and
     government is still needed to "transfer the wealth from those
     who have to omuch to those who have too little."

Brandon Bosworth ["Anarchy for Me, Not for Thee", The American
Enterprise, May, 2000] sums it up this way:
     Basically Biafra's platform would create, not a dictatorship of
     the proletariat, but a dictatorship of the hippies. This is very
     strange to punks and ex-punks like myself who have slightly
     different ideas of what the whole movement was about. Early
     punks hated hippies, which is why they cut their hair short and
     spiky. Long-hair was for the granola crowd, as was facial hair.
     The Ramones, a band that supposedly greatly influenced the
     Dead Kennedys, were professed Reaganites, though they were
     unsure if the Gipper was "conservative enough." Legendary
     punk singer John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten), of the Sex
     Pistols and PiL, sang songs attacking abortion, promiscuity,
     and the welfare state, yet defended (gasp!) making money.
     While Biafra chums up with thugs like Abu-Jamal, Lydon
     refused his old manager's request to sing with convicted train
     robber Ronnie Biggs, as it offended his sense of morality. Not
     to say Jello has no sense of morality; it?s just that he elevates
     murderers to saintly status and demands that SUV drivers be
     put in camps.

So, why is Freakin' Nader running for President as the Green Party
Candidate?   In the words of Johnny Lydon on why the Sex Pistols
re-united in 1996, "We've found a common cause, and it's your money."


Greg

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