[FoRK] What Osama might have told America
Adam L Beberg
beberg at mithral.com
Tue Nov 2 20:31:39 PST 2004
More evil genius stuff (why are they always evil?)
Adam L. Beberg
What Osama might have told America
Al-Jazeera aired only four minutes of Osama bin Laden's videotape
released last week, leaving the media to guess about what the remaining
14 minutes might contain. An anonymous source sent me what purports to
be a transcript of the rest of the tape. I cannot vouch for its
authenticity, but it is just what I would have said if I were Osama bin
Here is what Osama bin Laden supposedly said:
"People of America, it does not matter whom you choose as president.
Islam will prevail. We do not have to fight you; we merely have to let
you destroy yourselves. The Great Satan is a monster that devours its
"Slanderers claim that I represent an authoritarian form of Islam. But
what has the freedom of the modern world done to your Christianity?
Religion has died in Europe. You have done even worse. Like everything
in the Greater America of globalization, you have turned religion into a
consumer goods. Americans choose among 139 major brands of Christianity.
Your old churches close for lack of worshippers, and you build new
churches in shopping malls where religion is sold along with sausages. 
"You have made a modern world, and you brand us as relics of a tenebrous
past. You say that we are violent, but you have raised your children in
a nightmare of violence unlike anything the world has seen before. By
the time an American child reaches the age of 18, he will have seen on
television 40,000 murders and 200,000 other acts of violence. 
"Slanderers in your midst say that Islam oppresses women. Islam protects
the modesty of women with purdah and the veil. You turn your women into
whores. You cannot turn on your television without hearing a vulgar
mention of sex every three minutes. 
"Not only do your children incessantly observe violence and sex, but you
give them the means to play at it. The most popular computer game for
American children, called Grand Theft Auto, encourages the player to buy
relations with a prostitute and afterward beat her to death.
"Slanderers in your midst claim that Islam promotes violence against
women. Your worship of the flesh provokes women to commit violence
against themselves. At American universities, two out of five female
students starve themselves or vomit up their food in a perverse attempt
to fit the criteria for sexual attractiveness established by your
fashion industry. 
"Your evil will destroy your seed. It is not merely the fatherless and
despised, the poor and outcast, who wither and perish in the
contaminated soil of America, but the coddled offspring of your
prosperous elites. You have given your young people freedom, but it has
only brought them misery. You have depraved them with your false promise
of freedoms and left them with nothing but terror of the world, to the
point that one in six of your university students suffers a mental
"People of America, your leaders falsely tell you that jihadis love
death rather than life. It is true that life to us means more than the
material existence on this Earth, but also life everlasting - but did
not your prophets tell you the same thing? If we hate life, why do we
have more children than you? The population of the Arab world doubled
during the 20 years between 1978 and 1998, and between 1998 and 2010
will have grown by yet another third. 
"It is you, not us, who foster a culture of death. Where in the Muslim
world can you find a form of music such as 'death metal', which revels
in the putrefaction of human flesh? Groups with names like Cannibal
Corpse have sold scores of millions of records. This, O Americans, is
the blessing progress which you propose in your benevolence to bestow
upon Muslim youth? It would be better to learn from us how to cut a
flute from a reed. 
"One candidate tells you that he will enlist foreign allies in your
crusade against us. These supposed allies are the ones who love death.
In half a century the number of Europeans will fall by 50 million,
because the Europeans no longer love life enough to bring new life into
this world. Three hundred and twenty years ago a Muslim army stood
before the gates of Vienna, and Europe barely escaped conversion to the
true faith at swordpoint. During the next half-century Muslims will
wander into Europe and replenish the half-empty towns with people, and
the sound of children's voices once again will be heard - but in Arabic.
"Because they hate life, your supposed allies are cowards. Half a
millennium ago the Spanish empire drove Islam from its territory; this
year a few bombs at a railway station panicked the pathetic remnants of
Spain into retreat from Iraq. You are fools to count on them. Even the
Zionist Bernard Lewis admits that Islam will prevail in Europe before
the end of this century.
"People of America, your soldiers are brave but your leaders are fools.
You tremble at the loss of a thousand lives in Iraq. Perhaps with
another thousand, and a thousand more, you will establish the peace of
the cemetery in the cities of the Mesopotamian plain for another month
or another year. We do not think in terms of next month, or next year.
We look with hope and resolution toward the victory of our children's
children, who will dominate Europe. Their children's children will
"Abandon the false hope of freedom and submit to Allah. You cannot go
back to the traditional life of your forefathers, because the monster of
globalization has plowed it under. Not an American in 20 could find his
way back to the village of his great-grandfather. You cannot go forward,
because your souls are too weak to find a way through the pitfalls of
the modern world. Like the Europeans, you too will become weary of life,
weary of raising children, weary of your mastery - and the world will
belong to us.
"Have a nice day."
 US megachurches bring shopping mall theology to thirtysomethings.
'As Americans like going to shopping malls for all their consumer needs
in one spot, so self-styled "megachurches" are the fastest growing form
of service in the country. They offer a one-stop spiritual supermarket.
A cafe sells food and drinks. Baptisms are conducted at a pool to one
side where "warm water" is promised. There are picnic spots and walks
through manicured gardens in addition to church softball and basketball
teams. Parties are held for singles to meet fellow believers. The
church's target market is the thirtysomethings, many now with young
children, who are seeking to return to religion. Having grown up in an
era of consumerism they are looking not only for God in a church, but
also a variety of facilities.'
 TV Bloodbath: Violence on Prime Time Broadcast TV
 Wired for Raunch. "The overall combined per-hour rate of sexual
references, use of coarse language, and instances of violence was 21.7."
 Psychology Today, November/December 2004, p 62: "Anorexia or bulimia
in florid or subclinical form now afflicts 40 percent of women at some
time in their college career."
 Loc Cit. "The University of Michigan Depression Center … estimates
that 15 percent of college students are suffering from that disorder
 Middle East Economic Survey, Nov 15, 1999.
 Cannibal Corpse lyrics
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