[FoRK] Then there's the Conservatives' Wank Fantasy

Bill Humphries bill at whump.com
Fri Nov 5 14:01:11 PST 2004


The so called "Human Events" posted this then yanked it. Cryptome 
snagged it.

At least they aren't calling on the neanderthals to leave their 
sub-poverty jobs at WallMart and take up arms.


  Declaration of Expulsion: A Modest Proposal

  It's Time to Reconfigure the United States

by Mike Thompson
  Posted Nov 3, 2004

  [From the author: This is an essay I've been working on for the past 
several weeks, updated moments ago with what appears to be Bush's final 
number of victory states (31) once the nonsense of provisional votes in 
Ohio is overcome.

  As an admitted "modest proposal" (a la Swift's satiric story of the 
same name), it is nevertheless serious in pointing out the cancer that 
continues to threaten our body politic.]

[[Yes, Mike, that belief that somehow the US would be better if the 
atheists, women, blacks, and everyone else who doesn't worship your 
Tony Soprano version of God would somehow vanish.]]

  Branded unconstitutional by President Abraham Lincoln, the South's 
secession from the American Union ultimately sparked "The Civil War" (a 
name that was rejected by Southerners, who correctly called it "The War 
Between the States," for the South never sought to 1] seize the central 
government or 2] rule the other side, two requisites for a civil war).

  No state may leave the Union without the other states' approval, 
according to Lincoln's doctrine--an assertion that ignores the 
Declaration of Independence, which was the vital basis for all 13 
American colonies' unilateral secession from the British Union eight 
decades earlier. Lincoln's grotesque legal argument also disregards a 
state's inherent right of secession which many scholars believe is 
found in the Ninth and Tenth Amendments to the U.S. Constitution.

  Meantime, America has become just as divided as it was a century and a 
half ago, when it writhed in Brother-vs.-Brother War. Instead of wedge 
issues like slavery, federal subsidies for regional business, and high 
tariffs, society today is sundered by profound, insoluble Culture War 
conflicts (such as abortion and gay marriage), and debate about our 
role abroad (shall we remain the world's leader, or become an 
unprincipled chump for the cabal of globalist sybarites who play 
endless word-games inside the United Nations and European Union 

  For many decades, conservative citizens and like-minded political 
leaders (starting with President Calvin Coolidge) have been denigrated 
by the vilest of lies and characterizations from hordes of liberals who 
now won't even admit that they are liberals--because the word connotes 
such moral stink and political silliness. As a class, liberals no 
longer are merely the vigorous opponents of the Right; they are 
spiteful enemies of civilization's core decency and traditions.

[[I didn't know voter intimidation, torture, and lying to congress were 
part of civilization's core traditions. I thought they were regrettable 
aspects of human evolution.]]

  Defamation, never envisioned by our Founding Fathers as being 
protected by the First Amendment, flourishes and passes today for 
acceptable political discourse. Movies, magazines, newspapers, radio/TV 
programs, plays, concerts, public schools, colleges, and most other 
public vehicles openly traffic in slander and libel. Hollywood 
salivated over the idea of placing another golden Oscar into Michael 
Moore'sfat hands, for his Fahrenheit 9/11 jeremiad, the most bogus, 
deceitful film documentary since Herr Hitler and Herr Goebbels gave 
propaganda a bad name.

  When they tire of showering conservative victims with ideological mud, 
liberals promote the only other subjects with which they feel 
conversationally comfortable: Obscenity and sexual perversion. It's as 
if the genes of liberals have rendered them immune to all forms of 

  As a final insult, liberal lawyers and judges have become locusts of 
the Left, conspiring to destroy democracy itself by excreting statutes 
and courtroom tactics that fertilize electoral fraud and sprout fields 
of vandals who will cast undeserved and copious ballots on Election 

  The truth is, America is not just broken--it is becoming irreparable. 
If you believe that recent years of uncivil behavior are burdensome, 
imagine the likelihood of a future in which all bizarre acts are the 
norm, and a government-booted foot stands permanently on your face.

  That is why the unthinkable must become thinkable. If the so-called 
"Red States" (those that voted for George W. Bush) cannot be respected 
or at least tolerated by the "Blue States" (those that voted for Al 
Gore and John Kerry), then the most disparate of them must live 
apart--not by secession of the former (a majority), but by expulsion of 
the latter. Here is how to do it.

  Having been amended only 17 times since 10 vital amendments (the Bill 
of Rights) were added at the republic's inception, the U.S. 
Constitution is not easily changed, primarily because so many states 
(75%, now 38 of 50) must agree. Yet, there are 38 states today that may 
be inclined to adopt, let us call it, a "Declaration of Expulsion," 
that is, a specific constitutional amendment to kick out the 
systemically troublesome states and those trending rapidly toward 
anti-American, if not outright subversive, behavior. The 12 states that 
must go: California, Illinois, New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, 
Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Maryland, and 
Delaware. Only the remaining 38 states would retain the name, "United 
States of America." The 12 expelled mobs could call themselves the 
"Dirty Dozen," or individually keep their identity and go their 
separate ways, probably straight to Hell.

  A difficult-to-pass constitutional amendment, however, is not 
necessary. There is an equally lawful route that mercifully would be 
both easier and faster. Inasmuch as Article IV, Section 3 of the 
Constitution specifies that "New States may be admitted by the Congress 
into this Union," it is reasonable that the same congressional majority 
may expel a state from the Union. Is there, after all, any human 
organization in existence (including a family or law firm) that may not 
disown, disinherit, ostracize, alienate or expel diabolical members? 
Whether the nation is purged of these 12 states via the Constitution or 
statute, the process of elimination must begin now, for the need of 
societal detoxification has waxed so overwhelmingly clear.

  Examine the "Mostly Mainstream 38" and "Fringe 12." Of the 50 states, 
Bush won 30 in the 2000 presidential election against Gore, and 31 in 
2004 against Kerry. More dramatic is the huge disparity among counties. 
Of 3,112 counties nationwide, Bush in 2000, for example, won 2,434, a 
crushing 78% majority. (In the counties composing "Bush USA" live 
approximately 150 million persons; in the 678 of "Gore/Kerry USA," 140 
million.) Gore/Kerry denizens are concentrated in the metropolises of 
the East and West Coasts and those big cities on the Great Lakes or 
Mississippi River. Other significant pockets of ultraliberal extremists 
may be found in intellectually incestuous college towns and 
pro-big-government state capitals, along the estranged and overwhelmed 
Mexican border, and in Dixie's welfare-addicted Cotton Belt.

  The demographics revealed by the two most recent presidential 
elections are radically different and have resulted in "Two Americas" 
(but not the simplistic "Two Americas" [one rich, one poor] envisioned 
by Kerry'sMarxist-tongued running mate, John Edwards):
  * BUSH USA is predominantly white; devoutly Christian (mostly 
Protestant);  openly, vigorously heterosexual; an open land of 
single-family homes and  ranches; economically sound (except for a few 
farms), but not drunk with  cyberworld business development, and mainly 
English-speaking, with a predilection  for respectfully uttering "yes, 
ma'am" and "yes, sir."

  * GORE/KERRY USA is ethnically diverse; multi-religious, irreligious 
or nastily  antireligious; more sexually liberated (if not in actual 
practice, certainly  in attitude); awash with condo canyons and other 
high-end real estate bordered  by sprawling, squalid public housing or 
neglected private homes, decidedly  short of middle-class 
neighborhoods; both high tech and oddly primitive in  its commerce; 
very artsy, and Babelesque, with abnormally loud speakers.  Bush USA 
also is far safer, its murder rate being about 16% of the homicidal 
binge that plagues Gore/Kerry USA--2.1 per 100,000 residents, compared 
with  13.2 per 100,000 (from a study by Professor Joseph Olson, Hamline 
University  School of Law, St. Paul, Minnesota).

  A downsized, post-expulsion United States still would be 
geographically big enough (and personally generous enough) to welcome 
millions of authentic refugees from the ousted former states, real 
Americans who crave lower taxes, smaller government, safer 
neighborhoods, more secure borders, greater moral leadership, and all 
the other aspects of a markedly better society-- one that spawns 
harmony, not cacophony; excellence, not dependence; justice, not 
histrionics; education, not brainwashing; enterprise, not welfare, and 
Godliness, not devilishness. As for the dozen ex-American states, they 
could always petition the UN and EU for foreign aid. Moreover, with any 
good luck (or bon chance), socialist Canada would annex our jettisoned 
territory, eh?

  Still Relevant After All These Years

  Language of the 1776 Declaration of Independence that rings true today 
for expulsion:
  When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one 
people to  dissolve the political bands which have connected them with 
another . . .

  Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from 
the  consent of the governed, that whenever any Form of Government 
becomes destructive  of these ends, it is the Right of the People to 
alter or to abolish it, and  to institute new Government, laying its 
foundation on such principles and  organizing its powers in such form, 
as to them shall seem most likely to  effect their Safety and Happiness 
. . .

  Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established 
should not  be changed for light and transient causes . . . but when a 
long train of  abuses . . . evinces a design to reduce them [the 
people] under absolute  Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, 
to throw off such Government,  and to provide new Guards for their 
future security.

  Language of Barry Goldwater, 1964 Republican presidential nominee that 
also rings true:
  Sometimes I think this country would be better off if we could just 
saw off  the eastern seaboard and let it float out to sea.


[[Nurse Brachet will be by in a few moments with your lithium.]]

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