[FoRK] Re: yet another story about my kid
Kevin Elliott <
K-Elliott at wiu.edu
> on >
Tue Mar 7 12:02:49 PST 2006
At 09:36 -0500 on 3/7/06, Regina Schuman wrote:
>at this juncture i'm gonna ask: how many of you on this list were
My first thought when I read that was "being difficult is what being
a teen is about...".
My teen years were pretty rough. I was intensely isolated from my
peers and because of various misbehavior spent most of 2 years
grounded from essentially all forms of entertainment. I also grew up
on a quasi-farm so I spent a significant chunk of my time doing
pretty heavy labor. I spent a large portion of my free time digging
ditches, laying concrete block, working on cars, cutting down trees,
splitting wood, etc. My Dad used to joke that one of his parental
goals was to give his children first hand knowledge of all the
horrible things we didn't want to end up doing for a living.
At the time, my parents tended to view child/parent relationships in
terms of power struggles which was a very poor model of how I
needed/wanted to interact with them. They took me to a counselor for
awhile and I have a very vivid memory of our last session where he
essentially said "This is never going to get better until you go to
college. Tough it out and I guarantee things will improve".
Today, our relationship is loving but distant. I live ~2000 miles
away and visit at MOST once a year (I think the average is closer to
once every 2 years). The last time I visited my wife commented that
I appeared to be allergic to my parents- I developed hay fever like
symptoms whenever I spent more than a day with them and the symptoms
disappeared if I was away from them more than a day or so.
Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud.
After a while, you realize the pig is enjoying it.
Kevin Elliott <mailto:kelliott at mac.com>
AIM/iChatAV: kelliott at mac.com (video chat available)
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