[FoRK] And while I'm at it...

Jeff Bone <jbone at place.org> on Thu Mar 20 22:40:46 PDT 2008

I don't think I've mentioned how I feel about mules (the shoe) on men  
for, oh, at least five years.  Need I repeat myself?

But there's another pathological meme running around in the world of  
men's footwear these days that bothers me even more.  I don't know  
what these shoes are called, but my brother-in-law who's been crashing  
my obscenely large pad for about several months now --- I suppose I  
don't mind, my wife tells me he's paying rent and we only cross paths  
in the kitchen every couple of weeks, the place is big, dig? --- but I  
digress...  this pseudo-relative came to Austin from Dallas, and let  
me tell you, has invaded my bubba-sexual Austin sphere of influence  
with a serious invasion of Dallas-oblivious metro-s.  Once every 4-6  
weeks I run into him cruising out to invade downtown Austin smelling  
like he fell into a factory of pimp and wearing, well, I don't know  
what on his feet.

My beef with his shoes?  Well, lemme just say these things look like  
something he bought from the prop department when they decommissioned  
I Dream of Jeanie.  I mean, like, these things are about a yard long  
and have toes that point straight up at the ceiling.  I'd understand  
if this were a true "cultural" difference, like, if he was a Sufi or  
something.  But no.  These are high-dollar alligator-and-panda skinned  
girly monstrosities that have probably been lined with the scrotii (?)  
of baby seals.  What the fuck, dude?  When did *THIS* abomination  
sweep through the ambiguously-gay GQ crowd?


Also, If anybody here got me a subscription to Men's Vogue for  
Christmas, I appear to have misplaced the card or other record of who  
you are.  At first I thought this might be some kind of spec  
complimentary issue or something when I got the first issue in  
January, but I recently received my third issue.  I'm not sure how you  
sussed out my secret obsession with men's fashion, but - thank you!   
Please let me know who you are so that I may respond in kind at the  
next appropriate gift-giving opportunity.

Peace out, fuckers.



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