[FoRK] Fwd: Pros and cons

Jeff Bone <jbone at place.org> on Thu Apr 24 18:38:16 PDT 2008

I sent that "candidate analysis" to an attorney friend of mine to test  
the waters.  Here's what I got back.  Priceless!

Begin forwarded message:

From: <elided>
Date: April 24, 2008 4:39:37 PM CDT
To: "Jeff Bone" <jbone at place.org>
Subject: Re: Pros and cons

I refuse to vote.  This is after seeing video of each of the three  
remaining candidates appear on "WWE Raw"... Seriously.  Its not just  
the pandering to white trash that pisses me off, its the utter  
stupidity of each of the "spots".  YouTube it (though be prepared to  
fight through a ton of posts of some fake Hillary/Obama fight) and  
prepare to vomit.  Nevertheless, allow me to provide my own pros and  

Cons: Not aware of the truth or falsity of any statement that comes  
out of her mouth.
-Not in the least bit concerned with the benefits or drawbacks to any  
course of action she might take.
-Does not really have as much "experience" as she leads anyone to  
believe unless we are shifting the responsibility of state-dinner  
seating charts to the President.
Pros: None unless she selects an acceptable vice president and we  
discover she has terminal cancer or full blown AIDS (see below for  
additional benefits).

Cons: Spiritual advisor hates white people
-Has spiritual advisor
Pro: Magical Black Man will save us all (See Bagger Vance, et al) or  
at least improve our golf game, and who couldn't use that

Cons: 100 years in Iraq... delicous
-Stress of office likely to send him into Hulk-like rage during which  
he will kill entire cabinet and joint cheifs of staff (wait... is that  
a pro?)
-Hates everyone
Pro: Will die soon, very soon.  We need a good death in office to  
cheer us up as a nation.  Almost always followed by amusing period of  
sexual liberation (ok, so just that last one, but its worth a shot...a  
guy has to get laid ya know?)

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