LOL... From a buddy and ex-coworker of mine.
-- email@example.com firstname.lastname@example.org swilliams@Jabber.com Stephen D. Williams Insta, Inc./Jabber.Com, Inc./CCI http://sdw.st 43392 Wayside Cir,Ashburn,VA 20147-4622 703-724-0118W 703-995-0407Fax Dec2000
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A while back on some list someone said mentioned Linux and children's books somewhat close together and that got my creative juices flowing. So I wrote the following satire of Cat In The Hat around Linux. It's called, "The Tux in the Tux".
So, for your enjoyment, or for those of you getting your pre-schoolers ready for Linux :-), here it is. Enjoy.
Also at http://www.tux.org/~israel/tux-tux.html.
The Tux In The Tux By Bruce Israel <email@example.com> With abject apologies to the estate of Theodore Geisel.
The Sun did not run it was down for repairs so I took my PC and sat under the stairs
At a blue screen with Sally We stared there, we two, and I said how I wish, we had Mandrake and GNU.
Too broke to write code, Only good for a game, We just cursed at this Windows, it was really quite lame.
And then, something went ping, how that ping made us sing.
We stopped when we heard him, the penguin said "Shucks!" We looked and we saw him, the tux in the tux. And he said to us, "Don't you know that OS sux!"
I know that it's down, and that Windows is losing, but we can change things, and have a machine that is cruising!
I have an OS, we can use, said the bird. Here's an install CD, that'll work, you're assured.
Then Sally and I did not know what to do, installing this Linux, was something quite new.
But our fish said no, no, tell that bird to depart, with your current OS, the main button says "Start". If you take off this system, you can't run your apps, and besides Bill's men, will come at you with straps.
Now! Now! Have no fear, Dual boot, said the bird, Then you can have both, Just for when you need Word. But with Linux you'll find, an uptime of years, and that is a fact, that Microsoft fears.
But the fish said, "here's code, you can easily install, though a reboot's required after it all."
Have no fear, said the tux, To install it we start, We'll insert this CD, first, our disk we will part. We'll set up this section, that we'll use for windows, And over on this part, is where Linux goes.
"Look at it! Look at it now!" said the bird, If we add here StarOffice, you won't even need Word! We can set up the network, and run things in X, If you want to do parsing, just use bison and flex.
"Look at it! "Look at it! Look at it now!" If you run many programs, it won't have a cow. You can browse on the web, and play games with your friends, You won't GPF, 'cause the fun never ends.
As he set up some users, we looked on, amazed, They ALL could be running? One erred, rest unphazed?
So our fish went and logged on, He got into his shell, He said, "Do I like this? Oh boy, this is swell! But if we run this system, and get into trouble, Is there someone who'll help us? Who'll come on the double?"
And the bird said, "Why yes, There are all sorts who can. They've read through the code, and they know the whole plan!"
"Now look what you did," said the fish to the bird, "Our system is stable! The idea! It's absurd! You gave us Red Hat, It has no ActiveX so email virii will stay mostly in chex!"
Then the penguin did help, us set up Apache, we published some pages, they were really quite catchy. We tried CGI, just gave it a whirl, it wasn't so hard, we just used some PERL.
Then the penguin said "Bye", As he took a deep breath, "There are lots more out there, with the Blue Screen of Death",
But I got him to stop, as he stood in the door, "I know you must leave, But I must ask one more", As I said it like Yoda, "A tuxedo you wear, Understand this, I don't, Will the reason you share?"
As he left with a grin, when he walked out the door, I thought he would answer, but he said nothing more.
This is good, said the fish, the machine is quite stable, There's so much it does, it is really quite able. if we go to freshmeat, and stay on that course, the software we get, it will all come with source.
Then our mother walked in, She had finally come home, But Sally didn't notice, she was setting up Gnome.
As our mother walked over, and I tensed up with fear, would she notice that Linux, had been installed here?
And Sally and I did not know what to do. Should we teach her some Linux, or just let her stew? But she smiled so softly, as she set out our meal, and said "When we're done eating, we'll secure with Bastille!"
(c) Bruce Israel, 2001. Redistribution permitted with attribution.
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