[Fwd: FW: [Fwd: [Humor] Please register (McDonnell Douglas)]]

Ron Resnick (rresnick@dialogosweb.com)
Thu, 23 Apr 1998 14:16:11 -0400


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Probably been seen by at least half of you.
I don't care. I hadn't seen it. I liked it - sort of.
Iraq. Haw haw. Funny funny.

Besides, if the rest of you can gratuitously waste
bandwidth and attention-span on the banalities of your
meaningless lives, why the hell shouldn't I do the same?

Just which car-lad and his mercenary army of limeys are gonna stop me?

Ron (back in SF 26/4 - 2/5. Tentatively planning to hike through
some redwoods on Saturday 2/5, or maybe drive up towards Napa. Will
do so alone, or would be delighted to have company.)
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Received: by gullet
id <01BD6E39.000264B0@gullet>; Wed, 22 Apr 1998 17:52:52 -0400
Message-ID: <1DA6B0651329D011AC5600A024CEF474128107@gullet>
From: "Erdevig, Thomas" <terdevig@dialogosweb.com>
To: Engineering <Engineering@dialogosweb.com>
Subject: FW: [Fwd: [Humor] Please register (McDonnell Douglas)]
Date: Wed, 22 Apr 1998 17:52:49 -0400
X-Priority: 3
Return-Receipt-To: "Erdevig, Thomas" <terdevig@dialogosweb.com>
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> >Date: Wed, 22 Apr 1998 09:12:25 -0500
>=20
> >Subject: warranty registration card
> >
> >This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas
> website by
> >an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, =
of
> >course, does not (have a sense of humor) - and made the web
> department
> >take it down immediately.
> >
> >
> >
> >Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
> order
> >to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill =
out
> the
> >warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is
> not
> >required, but the information will help us to develop new products
> that
> >best meet your needs and desires.
> >
> >1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Col.
> > [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other
> >First Name:.....................................................
> >Initial: ........
> >Last Name:......................................................
> >Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
> >Code Name:......................................................
> >Latitude-Longitude-Altitude:........... ........... ..........
> >
> >2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
> >[_] F-14 Tomcat
> >[_] F-15 Eagle
> >[_] F-16 Falcon
> >[_] F-117A Stealth
> >[_] Classified
> >
>=20
> >3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
> >19....... /....... /.......
> >
> >4. Serial Number:.................................................
> >
> >5. Please check where this product was purchased:
> >[_] Received as gift / aid package
> >[_] Catalog showroom
> >[_] Independent arms broker
> >[_] Mail order
> >[_] Discount store
> >[_] Government surplus
> >[_] Classified
> >
> >6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas =
product
> >you have just purchased:
> >[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> >[_] Store display
> >[_] Espionage
> >[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> >[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
> >[_] Was attacked by one
> >
> >7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your
> decision=20
> >to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
> >[_] Style / appearance
> >[_] Speed / maneuverability
> >[_] Price / value
> >[_] Comfort / convenience
> >[_] Kickback / bribe
> >[_] Recommended by salesperson
> >[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> >[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> >[_] Backroom politics
> >[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
> >
> >8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
> >[_] North America
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Central / South America
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Aircraft carrier
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Europe
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Africa
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Asia / Far East
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Misc. Third World countries
> >[_] Iraq
> >[_] Classified
> >[_] Iraq
> >
> >9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to
> >purchase in the near future:
> >[_] Color TV
> >[_] VCR
> >[_] ICBM
> >[_] Killer Satellite
> >[_] CD Player
> >[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> >[_] Space Shuttle
> >[_] Home Computer
> >[_] Nuclear Weapon
> >
> >10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all
> >that apply):
> >[_] Communist / Socialist
> >[_] Terrorist
> >[_] Crazed
> >[_] Neutral
> >[_] Democratic
> >[_] Dictatorship
> >[_] Corrupt
> >[_] Primitive / Tribal
> >
> >11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
> >[_] Deficit spending
> >[_] Cash
> >[_] Suitcases of cocaine
> >[_] Oil revenues
> >[_] Personal check
> >[_] Credit card
> >[_] Ransom money
> >[_] Traveler's check
> >
> >12. Your occupation
> >[_] Homemaker
> >[_] Sales / marketing
> >[_] Revolutionary
> >[_] Clerical
> >[_] Mercenary
> >[_] Tyrant
> >[_] Middle management
> >[_] Eccentric billionaire
> >[_] Defense Minister / General
> >[_] Retired
> >[_] Student
> >
> >13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate
> the
> >interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
> participating
> >on a regular basis:
> >[_] Golf
> >[_] Boating / sailing
> >[_] Sabotage
> >[_] Running / jogging
> >[_] Propaganda / disinformation
> >[_] Destabilization / overthrow
> >[_] Default on loans
> >[_] Gardening
> >[_] Crafts
> >[_] Black market / smuggling
> >[_] Collectibles / collections
> >[_] Watching sports on TV
> >[_] Wines
> >[_] Interrogation / torture
> >[_] Household pets
> >[_] Crushing rebellions
> >[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> >[_] Fashion clothing
> >[_] Border disputes
> >[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
> >
> >Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
> >answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
> Douglas=20
> >serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
>=20
> >mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
> extremist
> >groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this
> >survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our
> Desert
> >Thunder Sweepstakes!
> >
> >Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
> >
> >Please write to:
> >
> >McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
> >Marketing Department
> >Military Aerospace Division
> >=20
> Eric R. Christiansen
> erc@execpc.com
>=20

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