Joe Barrera (
Thu, 21 Aug 1997 20:59:13 -0700

I've not been drinking. I've just been awake too long.

I think Juliet knows I'm quite capable of punishing myself sufficiently
for what I've done. Or more precisely, that punishment isn't the issue.

There are so many things I learned as a result of that experience,
horrible though it was. I want to write about them but this is the
background and I've been reluctant to share it. One issue that really
puzzles me is the interaction between mental illness and free will.
Everything I did, I did of my own free will, and I take full
responsibility. The concept of blaming what happened on anything else
but myself just repulses me. Nonetheless, I probably would not have done
what I did if my meds had been working at the time. How do I reconcile
these two beliefs?

- Joe

Joseph S. Barrera III (
Phone, Office: (415) 778-8227; Cellular: (415) 601-3719; Home: (650)
The opinions expressed in this message are my own personal views and do
not reflect the official views of Microsoft Corporation.