Emailworks 3.0 - man, would I like to Spam this guy.

I Find Karma (adam@cs.caltech.edu)
Fri, 13 Sep 96 12:35:18 PDT


This is the third time he's left this little gem in my emailbox
without a return address.

I'm thinking of mailing a whole bunch of rancid meat to his house.

Any better methods of revenge?

> From used***@being.caltech.edu Thu Sep 12 19:01:56 1996
> To: YOU@cs.caltech.edu
> Subject: BULK EMAIL SOFTWARE!!!
>
> IMPORTANT!!!!! THROUGHOUT THIS LETTER THERE ARE 5 SECRET WORDS
> THAT ARE DESIGNATED BY DOLLAR SIGNS ( $$$EXAMPLE$$$ ) ON BOTH
> SIDES OF THE WORD. IF YOU GATHER ALL 5 AND EMAIL THEM TO ME AT:
>
>
>
> I WILL SEND YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO OBTAIN AN UNLIMITED AMOUNT OF
> F R E E EMAIL ACCOUNTS WITH ADDRESSES THAT YOU CHOOSE!!!
> THATS CORRECT! NOT ONLY WILL YOU HAVE UNLIMITED EMAIL ADDRESSES TO CALL YOUR VERY OWN, BUT THIS SERVICE IS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY F R E E! ! !
> NO GIMMICK!!! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE ! ! ! WE ARE DOING THIS TO SHOW YOU WHAT KIND OF BUSINESS WE ARE AND THE THING WE CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH THAT WILL PUT YOU IN THE $$$BEST$$$ POSITION YOU CAN BE IN ON THE INTERNET!
>
>
>
>
> B.E.S.T. B.E.S.T. B.E.S.T. B.E.S.T. B.E.S.T.
>
> WHAT SHOULD I BUY???
> FLOODGATE FOR ----------------------N O ! !
> LIGHTENINGBOLT FOR ------------------N O ! !
> EUDORA--------------------------------N O ! !
> PEGASUS--------------------------------N O ! !
> EXTRACTOR GOLD FOR ---------------------NO ! !
>
> 1996 is going to be your best year yet!
>
> This year we developed a new software. The people
> I've already sold this to have more leads than they can
> deal with! Most are making more money than they've ever made
> in their life!
>
> This is the ultimate software that all the bulk emailing
> services use or wish they used!!
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> E M A I L W O R K S 3.0 The ULTIMATE bulk email software
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> SEND OUT 500+ MARKETING LETTERS EVERY SINGLE HOUR! ( most users of this system are emailing the full potential of 14000 per hour!!!(thats with a 14400 modem!!)
> Or... every few days. Or 50,000 to 1,000,000 every month!!
>
> In fact, when I send out 500 marketing letters each day, it
> doesn't take long before I'm completely swamped with e-mail
> inquiries and phone calls and B.E.S.T. of all.....O R D E R S! ! !
> This is very easy to do. And each one of these bulk mailings
> costs me nothing. EMAILWORKS DOES IT ALL!! THE ONLY THING YOU NEED IS A POP ACCOUNT!!!
>
> $ $ $ BULK $ $ $
>
> Every single day our mailboxes are stuffed, with new
> inquiries, questions, and that wonderful phrase, "I've just
> sent you an order."
>
> EMAILWORKS 3.0 is a bulk e-mail software that allows you to easily
> access huge targeted mailing lists. Use these lists to send
> your marketing letter, or your client's marketing letter, to
> 100,000's of people. And the people you e-mail are not only
> a CAPTIVE audience but an audience as specific as you choose!!
> There are no limitations other than your own!!!!!!
>
>
>
> ************************************************************************************************************************************************
> NEVER PAY FOR ADVERTISING OR
> LEADS AGAIN!!!
>
>
>
> NOW AVAILABLE TO THE PUBLIC!
>
>
>
> Email your sales letter to over 13,000
> Email addresses per hour for
>
> FREE!
>
> Instant Orders!
>
> Promote your Business,Product or Website
> for FREE!
>
>
>
> There are over 10,000 people getting online Every Day! With EMAIL WORKS you can tap into
> this unlimited supply of leads for your business. Best of all, Electronic Marketing is FREE!
>
> This is an entreprenuers dream come true... EMAIL WORKS program is written specifically for
> Windows, Windows 95 and Windows NT operating systems. This program is so easy to use that
> even a 12 year old can run this program. You can operate this program on any PC and No special
> equipment required. EMAIL WORKS does all the work for you. Just turn it on and let it run.
>
> Features of Email Works
>
>
>
> No Special Equipment Needed
>
> Email Works is compatible with Windows 3.1, Windows 3.11 Windows NT and Windows 95.
> You also need an Internet connection to send email to the list you gather with EMAIL WORKS
> (other than AOL,COMPUSERVE). This can be obtained for as low as $9.95 per month for just
> an email account. That's it!!! That is all you need!
>
> Unlimited Email Addressses FREE!
>
> No need for you to search for email addresses. EMAIL WORKS comes with its own database of
> over 20,000 newsgroups. You simply check which newsgroups you want addresses from, this
> allows you to target your list, and press go or you can strip email addresses from any online
> service including AOL,CompuServe,Prodigy,GEnie. Plus anywhere on the internet! It's that
> simple! There are over 40 million people online and new people getting online everyday, so as you
> can see your list is unlimited.
>
> Built in Database for storing all your email addresses
>
> EMAIL WORKS comes with its own database that allows you store all your email addresses. No
> need for any additional software.
>
> Built in Filtering System
>
> EMAIL WORKS will automatically compare the addresses in your database to the new
> addresses and will eliminate all duplicate addresses. This way you will never have to worry about
> sending your sales letter out to the same person twice.
>
> Built in Parsing Program
>
> EMAIL WORKS comes with its own parsing program that will allow you to parse out any
> addresses that you do not want to email to. For example: you may not want to send your sales
> letter to any addresses ending in Edu. or GOV. or addresses from certain countries. You can enter
> these names into Email Works and it will automatically eliminate these from your database. All this
> can be done with 1 click of a mouse.
>
> Built in Time & Date Stamp
>
> EMAIL WORKS will place a date on every email address that you send to and which sales letter
> was mailed. This way when you request to email out to 10,000 addresses EMAIL WORKS will
> only select the "fresh names" to use. This feature comes in very handy when doing a marketing
> analysis.
>
> Built in Emailer
>
> This is the easies part of the program. Email Works comes with its own Built in Emailer. You
> simply type in your sales letter in EMAIL WORKS. Select how many emails you wish to send.
> Type in the subject of your sales letter, and press send. It's that simple. You just sit back, relax
> and watch EMAIL WORKS do all the work for you!
>
> NEW! NEW!NEW!
>
> FEATURES!
>
>
>
> POST YOUR SALES LETTER TO THOUSANDS OF
> NEWSGROUPS!
>
> EMAIL WORKS 3.1 is the only program out on the market that has this feature!!! This feature
> allows you to read your newsgroups and now you can also POST your sales message to
> thousands of newsgroups of your choice automatically! This is definitely a money maker$$$. Post
> your sales message to millions of people FREE! So, if you didn't happen to get the newcomers
> email address now they won't miss your sales letter. Remember, when it comes to sales, it is a
> numbers game out there. The more people that see your advertisement the more sales you will
> have!
>
> Built in Marketing Analysis Table
>
> This feature allows you to do a marketing analysis on each and every letter you email out! Now
> you will be able to know which sales letter works and makes you the most money! This database
> will also allow you to keep a separate table of all you clients for future sales.
>
> Instant Orders
>
> Email broadcasting is like direct mail in that you try to do as much as you can to improve your
> response rate. But the major difference is that there's no need to wait 6-8 business days for your
> response. With EMAIL WORKS you will receive instant response. You can mail just 500 letters
> and you may have orders waiting for you the second you get done.
>
> Unlimited Technical Support
>
> EMAIL WORKS comes with complete detailed directions that is easy to understand and easy to
> follow. And just in case you need any additional information we have our technical support
> standing by. So as you can see, you are not alone after you purchase Email Works.
>
> Email is FREE! No Printing, Postage, or Manual Labor!
>
> There are no postage, material, supplies, or printing costs for you to worry about. Once you
> purchase the EMAIL WORKS you will never pay for leads again.
>
> Fastest program on the Market!
>
> The EMAIL WORKS can email your sales letter out to 13k
>
> addresses per hour. That is with a 14.400 modem.
>
> Cost Effective
>
> EMAIL WORKS retails for $495. But we are running a promotion for the first 100 copies sold of
> this version 3.1 for only $399 and we offer a 30 day Money Back Guarantee! If for some
> reason you are not completely satisfied with Email Works simply return to us for a full refund. No
> Questions Asked!!!
>
> BEST PROGRAM ON THE MARKET TODAY!
>
> As far as we are concerned there is no other program out on the market that compares to EMAIL
> WORKS. After carefully reviewing other programs we know that EMAIL WORKS 3.1 is the
> EASIEST program to use, provides everything that you need to do a successful mass email and
> the most cost effective. We are aware of similar programs such as: Floodgate, NetContact,
> Extractor Gold. We know that entrepreneurs are trying to make money not spend money, so we
> try our best to supply the most "cutting edge" software programs at a cost effective price!
>
> With EMAIL WORKS there is nothing
> else to buy and nothing else is needed!
> With the click of your mouse you will be on
> your way!
>
> Now you can conviently order EMAIL
> WORKS 3.1 online!!! by Clicking Here.
>
>
>
> Plus...
>
> we will refer you to online providers that
> want your business! No worrys of being
> shut down ever again!!!
>
> If you have any further questions on Email Works that
> have not been answered here contact us by email:
> Click here.or call our Marketing Department at:
> 714-825-4815
>
> EMAYLWORKS
>
> TO ORDER SEND CHECK, CASHIERS CHECK, OR MONEY ORDER TO:
>
> DAVID SEIVER
>
> 177 RIVERSIDE DR. # F
>
> NEWPORT BEACH, CA
>
> 92663
>
> TO ORDER BY CREDIT CARD CALL:
>
> 714-825-4815
>
>
> WE TAKE ALL CREDIT CARDS KNOWN TO MAN!!
>
> THE ABILITY TO DO ALL OF THIS WITHOUT BEING KICKED OFF your I.S.P.
> ************************************************************************************************************************************************
>
> If you HAVE FURTHER QUESTIONS, simply send an E-Mail to us
> at:
>
>
>
>
> PS: We have many products and services in which we think
> you might have an interest. However, if you never want to
> hear from us again, send an email to:
> WITH REMOVE IN THE SUBJECT and you will promptly be removed.
>
> *DO NOT REPLY* to this e-mail to get removed. We don't want
> you to waste your time. Our system cannot remove you unless
> you address an
> e-mail to:
>
>
> "They Laughed When I Said I Was Going
> To Advertise On The Internet, But When
> I Was Flooded With Responses ..."
>
> "1995 was the first year that Internet traffic
> surpassed fax traffic. This is nothing compared
> to what this phenomenon will become."
>
> There is something I have to tell you that will open your
> eyes to the biggest secret in the business world today.
>
> This is hot!
>
> It's safe to say this is the most important letter you will
> probably receive this decade. Actually, this may be the
> most important letter you will ever read.
>
> In fact, I'll make this promise to you right now. If you
> give me five minutes of your time, I'll disclose to you the
>
> "Five Easy Steps That Will Make You A Success
> In Today's Information Age."
>
> You will see just how easily the Internet & Bulk E-Mail can
> catapult your business right to the top! Then
> I'll reveal to you five secrets for business owners who want
> to get their message on the Net but don't know where to
> start.
>
> More importantly, this letter will cover all the benefits
> to you & answer your most important question of all ...
>
> "What's In It For Me!"
>
> I hope you're ready ... because the Internet Gold Rush is
> on! Just like the last goldrush, only a small number of
> people really know how to squeeze profit out of it. Better
> yet ... you can actually use these simple but effective
> techniques in just minutes a day - without hiring more
> employees! Who ever heard of a business getting new
> customers & sending information, without needing extra
> employees?
>
> What's that, without extra Employees? Yes, I'll prove it to
> you. And,
> I'll tell you about myself & how my actual experiences can
> benefit you - just ahead. But I have to tell you something
> right now that ... just can't wait! You see, there is a true
> goldmine of new business on the Internet for those who know
> how to tap into it.
>
> "And The First Few Business Owners
> Who Jump In Will Have Their
> Pick Of New Customers!"
>
> According to the Forrester Research Report, the leading
> Internet marketing research firm (covering new technology),
> you will see on-line sales explode to $5,000,000,000 within
> the next three years! That's F-I-V-E Billion Dollars!
>
> Forrester says the current TV home shopping craze will
> stagnate. Actually, their proven research shows there are
> currently 25% less heavy TV watchers today.
>
> There is a shift taking place because the Internet offers
> .. "News, Sports, Weather, Entertainment & Advertising just
> like TV does!" The best part - advertising costs on the
> Internet are less than pennies, compared to advertising on
> TV. Hmm.
>
> It's actually dirt cheap!
>
>
> $ $ $ EMAIL $ $ $
>
>
> But, hold on. I know what you are thinking. If this is so
> good, why isn't everybody doing it? I'm glad you asked. What
> I have to tell you now keeps getting better & better! The
> reason is they don't understand it. It looks too complicated
> on the surface. This is how the few "in the know" are steam-
> rolling over the majority of businesses out there!
>
> I've been active on the Internet for the last year, & I
> still can't believe what I'm witnessing. This is the biggest
> marketing breakthrough in the history of this country!
>
> "It's going through the roof!
> There are currently 30,000,000 users with Internet
> accounts. Plus, there are 1,000,000 more signing on each
> month."
>
> 1995 was the first year that Internet traffic _surpassed_
> fax traffic in the United States. This is nothing compared
> to what this phenomenon will become. Let me show you
> precisely.
>
> Take a look at these three simple reasons. Decide for
> yourself. You will see exactly why nothing will stop the
> Internet from taking over the way you & I (& everyone else)
> will be doing business for the rest of our lives!
>
> Reason #1. Increasing printing costs.
>
> If you print flyers, catalogs, or advertising material, you
> know paper costs have gone up like a rocket & there's no
> sign it will slow down. How would you like to know how you
> can send your printed information to thousands of new
> potential customers each day on the Internet for next to
> nothing? Not to mention the fact that you can change prices
> & test different offers literally overnight.
>
> Oh, let's not overlook this! The same computer that's
> displaying your beautiful full color photos & information
> (24 hours a day) contains millions of E-mail addresses that you
> can use to get new sales leads. This is fact. It is there
> night & day. And, if that's not enough - this little
> powerhouse system doesn't cost much more than most services
> are charging for a single "Bulk E-mailing". Can you believe
> it?
>
> "It's just icing on the cake!"
> I have to say one more thing about this because this is
> heavy duty. You don't need to hire anyone to do this. You
> don't need to train anyone to do this. All that you need
> is a few hours a week! Wow.
>
> Well, that's not exactly true. You may need extra help to
> deposit extra income you receive. What a problem to have!
>
> This little beauty is called a "Bulk E-mailer" system. I
> thought of it when I sent an advertisement to an on-line
> Classified Ad Forum.
>
> The next day I went to see my ad, and to my surprise I
> couldn't find it... It was buried beneath thousands of ads
> just like it! How could I ever get a sale?
>
> After I saw this the light bulb went on.. What if I could
> E-mail my ad to thousands of people at one session... Hence,
> B.E.S.T. Bulk E-mail system was born.
>
> I still can't get over the fact that you can do this 24hrs a day.
> Can you see the many benefits of using it?
>
> Is this too good to be true? Well, it's real, & I use
> B.E.S.T. everyday. When I saw the first few people
> jump on the bandwagon, after they saw me use it, I knew it
> was hot. Okay, next.
>
> Reason #2. Postage costs are always increasing.
>
> If you have to mail sales letters to your customers then
> you know increasing costs of postage is a BIG problem. Trust
> me, it's not going to be lowered any time in the near
> future. Do you agree?
>
> What would you think if I told you how you can easily mail
> all of the above & more for FREE? Yes, you read that right.
>
> I said FREE! How is this possible?
>
> Well as hard as this may be to believe, companies using the
> Internet for business don't pay anything extra if they send
> one piece of E-mail (electronic mail) or if they send
> thousands!
>
> Does that give you any ideas? If it doesn't, then please
> check to make sure you still have a pulse! Because, I'm not
> kidding ... this is phenomenal.
>
> How many customers would you like to send you sales
> messages to? How many times would you like to send new
> offers? Do it all, in seconds with a Bulk E-mailer system - for
> FREE..
>
> Don't you just love that word - FREE? I do. This way you
> can keep finding new customers for relatively no expense.
> Even try out new offers and products at virtually no risk.
>
> If this sounds to good to be true just wait, this
> technique is nothing compared to the next one - which is
> absolutely staggering.
>
> Reason #3. The Internet is good for the environment!
>
> This is it - the BIG one! Hold onto your wallet ... this
> angle will give your business geometric growth like you've
> never seen before.
>
> Have you ever used FREE publicity to get quantum results
> for your business? Well, it's easy if you have an angle.
> Shouldn't your business "help" the environment?
>
> "You can, by using the Internet!"
> There go those light bulbs again! This can literally put
> hundreds or thousands of new customers in your hands. It's
> safe to say some business owners (reading this very letter)
> will make millions with this one idea alone!
>
> Do you realize everything we've talked about is good for
> the environment? The Internet stops paper waste & saves
> trees. The Internet stops hazardous chemical waste from
> printing. It stops the need & expense for re-cycling waste
> used in paper mailings.
>
> The Internet is nothing more than electronic signals that
> are being re-used constantly - never polluting anything!
>
> Your business can get FREE publicity with this angle.
> You're helping save your town & country. You're saving
> valuable resources when providing sales messages, using the
> newest technology, to reach your customers.
>
> Okay, I promised you four easy steps that would make you a
> success in today's information age. Here they are:
>
> Step #1. Use Bulk E-mail to sell your
> products /services and gather new leads.
>
> Step #2. Use E-mail as the new method for your
> customers to order from you & to give
> feedback to you at no additional cost.
>
> Step #3. Use E-mail to replace faxes & 800 numbers
> to save a fortune on long distance charges.
>
> Step #4. Use E-mail to replace leaving messages on voice
> mail answering systems & eliminating being put on hold.
> Save a bundle in both precious time & money.
>
> $ $ $ SYSTEM $ $ $
>
> Let's pause here for a second, to consider something very
> pertinent that happened 40 years ago ...
>
> "Those advertising agencies who said that television would
> never be a place to advertise" - AREN'T IN BUSINESS TODAY.
>
> The same thing happened when the first radio broadcast was
> aired ... & when the telephone was invented. Don't let your
> future profits suffer from this type of proven negative
> outlook from the past.
>
> "Because the Internet is like a combination of the
> telephone, radio, TV, & computer all rolled into one."
>
> Okay, are you ready to do it? Don't worry. I
> know how you may feel. It sounds great but ...
> what to do first? This is where I can help!
>
> What I'm about to tell you now is worth a $100 consultation
> fee, but I want you to know these techniques because you
> have taken the first steps by reading this letter.
>
> In August 1995, you may have witnessed Netscape
> Communications Corporation's initial public stock offering.
> After opening at $28 a share it soared to $72 ... in only
> 45 minutes. Wow!
>
> What does this company do? They sell software for the Net!
> They hadn't even shown a profit before going public & their
> primary product was less than one year old.
>
> In just a few short hours they had a
> market value of over a BILLION dollars!
>
> "If you're not an active Internet citizen by the mid
> 1990's, you may be out of business by the year 2000."
>
> This seems to be the theme ... the Net is where the action
> is! Customers want more info to make a decision to buy. The
> Net easily makes it available to them.
>
> Do this right & you'll not only win more customers, but
> also have them bringing you even more customers through word
> of mouth - on the Internet.
>
> Okay, enough suspense. Here are the
> Five secrets I promised you earlier:
>
> Get a copy of B.E S T. , and
> read the manual, "How to Bulk E-mail" -- In it
> I'll teach you the do's and don'ts of Bulk E-mailing.. And
> Believe me there are plenty of do's and don'ts!
>
> Bulk E-mail the right way and "Flames"
> of hatred from other users, possibly resulting in the
> removal of your internet account, will be avoided. Bulk E-mail the right way
> and you'll get bombarded with a ridiculous number of replies
> for your product. Just last Sunday I received OVER 900 replies
> from a single mailing! READ THAT AGAIN. I told you this was
> big. But that's nothing compared to what I'm about to tell
> you.
>
> I'll give the information you need to get unlimited addresses.
> Most services charge about $59.00 for 1000. This information
> alone,is worth $1000.00's of dollars and it's yours with your order!
> Don't you love it...
>
> $ $ $ TECHNOLOGY $ $ $
>
> Use these addresses to familiarize yourself with the power of B.E.S.T.
> Even use them to test-out your newest sales pitch.
>
>
>
> Sound great? I'll teach you how. I list over a dozen
> little known sources for E-mail addresses. It's these
> little nests that hold the key to your success. And
> amazingly, only a few people know how to get the "golden
> eggs" from these nests. Okay, it gets better, let's move
> on..
>
> I'll teach you how to use B.E.S.T. to not only
> build Bulk E-mail lists, but also manage your lists. I am still amazed
> at this system. It does the work of an entire corporate
> management team.
>
> It keeps track of names, people who don't want
> bulk e-mail, and even people you've already mailed your ad
> out to... and more! But wait, here's the BIG ONE-- The one
> that bulk E-mailers are screaming for... You can use B.E.S.T.
> to track your sales! Think about it. I could
> "sell this system by itself and make a killing"
>
> but you get it built right into B.E.S.T.. And NOW the B.E.S.T. part,
> the one you've been waiting for. The FINAL step.
>
> "My customers typically get over 1,000 replies
> in their first mailing"
>
> Mail-out a list that's too big and you could end up like
> some of my customers. They compiled a fairly sizable list
> for their first mailing and got bombarded with a ridiculous
> number of replies.. usually within 24 hours. Once customer
> once told me
>
> "It took over and hour and a half for myself to
> download all of my replies" I'll bet he was glued to his computer
> for days just to send more information back to his new leads.
> Does it work...
> Absolutely.
> Find the right product and sales message and
> you'll be glued to your computer too.. But I want to do
> better than that--
>
> "I want to guarantee your success!"
>
> Yes, you read that right. Many people ask, what if my
> product or service just doesn't sell? let's face it, it's an
> honest fear.. I know it kept me awake a few nights when I
> first started.
>
> Let me put everything aside for a moment and say this. If
> your product doesn't sell, and I haven't heard of one that
> hasn't, I'll show you products that sell great through bulk
> E-mail... you can use them to get sales for your business --
> This alone will guarantee the success of your business!
>
> Well, there it is, in black and white. We've covered a lot
>
> and if your like me you have a lot of thinking to do.
> Please ask me specific questions about EMAILWORRKS 3.0,
> I'll answer them for you. But for now remember...
>
> When your ready to catapult your business to the top, order
> your copy of EMAILWORKS 3.0
>
> Sincerely,
>
> DAVID SEIVER
>
> 177 RIVERSIDE DR. # F
> NEWPORT BEACH,CA
> 92663
>
> 714-825-4815
>
>
> .... questions send email to:
>
>
> .... to get your free unlimited email accounts:
>
>
> ....to be removed
>
> To Order ---
>
> Enclose a check, cashiers check, or money order for $399 + $20.00 S+H
> to:
> DAVID SEIVER
> 177 RIVERSIDE DR. # F
> NEWPORT BEACH,CA
> 92663
> PLEASE INCLUDE SHIPPING ADDRESS, NAME, PHONE #, AND EMAIL ADDRESS.
> OR CALL 714-825-4815 TO ORDER BY CREDIT CARD
> *** P.S. don't forget to Include an address
> that I can send the system to.. it is really hard for all of us when
> people forget that..... ***
>
>
>
> ****P.S.S. THERE MOST DEFINITELY WILL BE NO REACTION WITHOUT ACTION!!!!
>
>