> NASA Discovers New Element!
>
> The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by NASA
> physicists. The element, tentatively named "Administratium," has no
> protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. It does,
> however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and
> 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312.
> These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that
> involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called
> "morons."
>
> Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. It can, however,
> be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes into
> contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of
> Administratium caused one reaction to take over four days to complete,
> when it would normally occur in less than one second.
>
> Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at
> which time it does not actually decay but instead undergoes
> reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and
> assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that
> the atomic number actually increases after each reorganization.
>
> Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs
> naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain
> points such as government agencies, large corporations and
> universities and can usually be found in the newest, best appointed
> and best maintained buildings. Scientists point out that
> Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and
> can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is allowed to
> accumulate.
>
> Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be
> controlled to prevent irreversible damage but results to date are not
> promising.
>