Girlfriend 1.0

CobraBoy! (
Tue, 18 Nov 1997 19:12:19 -0800

Dear Technical Support:

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've
been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of
DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the
GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it. I
hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background
mode and the sound is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find
the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works

Girlfriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Golf
program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing
incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I
thought I
might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts
and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with
GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend
2.0, and eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. He was
right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.

Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were
supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a
virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.
I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a
SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked
okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my
system. I tried running GirlFriend 1..0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still
installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that
automatically senses the presence of any other version of GirlFriend and
communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of
both versions.

The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some
problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure
language I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly I think there is
too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired
functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you
usually have to use gold-plated contacts.

And I've never liked how GirlFriend is totally "object-oriented."
A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to
GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of
GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if
you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he had to
upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a huge resource hog. It has taken
up all his space, so he can't load anything else.

One of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was
because it came bundled with FreeSexPlus. Well, it turns out the resource
allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus,
particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must
be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. Although he
did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw which has an automatic
pop-up feature he can't turn off.

I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if
you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete
MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.0 won't
install anyway because of insufficient resources.


the me that you know used to have feelings but the blood has stopped pumping and he's left to decay the me that you used to know doesn't come around much that part of me isn't here anymore. NIN

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