Naw, just joking. I assume Digital gave Ken plenty o cash to spend in
his golden years.
> And what's with the subject line of "... Air Technologies Crap"?
Whoops. Sometimes I change words like Corp. to words like Crap. just
to see if anyone's paying attention. I forget that things get pickled
forever in time, setting me up for lawsuits and such.
> PS. For the record, I *HATE* the Microsoft ergonomic keyboard (and all
> other split keyboards).
I don't much care for split keyboards either.
> When I visit Microsoft Redmond and have to type
> at someone else's ergonomicized machine for more than five minutes, I
> always find a "standard" keyboard and swap keyboards. They could have at
> least used duplicate middle keys. (The problem is that I type in
> "rolling chords" which often span the middle of the keyboard.)
Sounds like you're typing a keyboard the way Rachmaninoff played the
piano... makes me feel like... breaking into song...
Schroedinger, Erwin! Professor of physics!
Wrote daring equations! Confounded his critics!
Win saw that the theory that Newton'd invented
By Einstein's discov'ries had been badly dented.
What now? wailed his colleagues. Said Erwin, "Don't panic,
No grease monkey I, but a quantum mechanic
Consider electrons. Now these teeny articles
Are sometimes like waves, and then sometimes like particles
If that's not confusing, the nuclear dance
Of electrons and suchlike is governed by chance!
No sweat, though - my theory permits us to judge
Where some of 'em is and the rest of 'em was."
Not everyone bought this. It threatened to wreck
The comforting linkage of cause and effect.
E'en Einstein had doubts, and so Schroedinger tried
To tell him what quantum mechanics implied.
Said Win to Al, "Brother, suppose we've a cat,
And inside a tube we have put that cat at-
Along with a solitaire deck and some Fritos,
a bottle of Night Train, a couple mosquitoes
(Or something else rhyming) and, oh, if you got 'em
One vial prussic acid, one decaying ottom
Or atom - whatever - but when it emits,
A trigger device blasts the vial into bits
Which snuffs our poor kitty. The odds of this crime
Are 50 to 50 per hour each time.
The cylinder's sealed. The hour's passed away. Is
Our pussy still purring - or pushing up daisies?
Now, you'd say the cat either lives or it don't
But quantum mechanics is stubborn and won't.
Statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),
Is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.
To some this may seem a ridiculous split,
But quantum mechanics must answer, 'Tough shit'.
We may not know much, but one thing's fo,sho':
There's things in the cosmos that we cannot know.
Shine light on electrons - you cause them to swerve.
The act of observing disturbs the observed -
Which ruins you test. But then if there's no testing
To see if a particle's moving or resting
Why try to conjecture? Pure useless endeavor!
We know probability - certainty, never.'
The effect of this notion? I very much fear
'Twill make doubtful all things that were formerly clear.
Till soon the cat doctors will say in reports,
'We've just flipped a coin and we've learned he's a corpse.'"
So said Herr Erwin. Quoth Albert, "You're nuts.
God doesn't play dice with the universe, putz.
I'll prove it!" he said, and the Lord knows he tried -
In vain - until fin'ly he more or less died.
Win spoke at the funeral: "listen, dear friends,
Sweet Al was my buddy. I must make amends.
Though he doubted my theory, I'll say of this saint:
Ten-to-one he's in heaven - but five bucks says he ain't."
-- Cecil Adams
| |,___| "I am Homer of the Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance
| \__/ is irrelevant. Preparation is irrel...MMMmmm...doughnut!"