Re: When masturbation's got you down...

I Find Karma (
Tue, 16 Sep 1997 23:11:34 -0700 (PDT)

TienCLee writes:
> > > The following "informational packet" was distributed to students at
> > > Christ the King grade and middle school in Lombard, Illinois last week.
> > > OPINION: Why do we WANT to overcome masturbation?
> > > :p Adam
> DUDE - Was this not what you wrote on your website?
> If you don't want an answer, don't ask any questions.

Well, yes, it is what I wrote on my website. What I want to know is,
what are my words doing in some "information packet" being handed out
to middle schoolers at Christ the King in Lombard, Illinois?

Furthermore, what prompted you to write me out of the blue to tell me
that masturbation is bad? Is your time so free flowing that you're
willing to waste it on someone like me, who you don't even know?

> > > ANS: AIDS, suffering, broken homes and kids that'll leave you when
> > > you suffer a stroke and heart attack.
> And what do any of these have to do with masturbation?
> I'm assuming you masturbate.

Of course. If the good Lord didn't want us to masturbate, He would have
given us shorter arms.

> As a masturbation addict, I'm giving you the Skinny - just TRY having
> any lasting relationship with any woman.

Well, I've been trying. Is 8 years and counting considered a lasting

And what, exactly, is "addiction" to masturbation? I've never heard of
any 12-step programs to cure people of this evil.

> By the way, if you still don't think there's anything wrong, why don't
> you go a little further. And further...

Further where? I have no idea what you're saying here.

Look, masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be
particularly proud of, either, now that I think about it. Just let it be.

> then just wait till you have kids or see people you hang out with get
> AIDS...just TRY and stop Dad couldn't, divorced my Mom, had
> a stroke and heart attack and no one gave a shit.

Tien, are you saying that you think that divorce, AIDS, and heart attacks
happen because of masturbation? Carpal tunnel syndrome, maybe. But I
really don't think there's any cause-and-effect between masturbation and
those forms of bad health you mention.

Or do you have a medical degree that I'm unaware of?


Man first learned to walk upright so he could free his hands for
-- Lily Tomlin