Top 15 slogans that never caught on...

I Find Karma (
Sat, 5 Apr 97 16:38:19 PST

April 4, 1997: The Top 15 Slogans That Never Quite Caught On

> To forward or repost, please include the following:
> [ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ]
> [ The Top Five List ]

Yadda yadda yadda.

> 16> FoRK Consulting: "You bring the quibbles, we'll bring the bits."

Well, there should have been a 16. Of course, it could have been:
"Stick a FoRK in it, it's done."
"Life's a bit, and then it's not."
"You keep bringing them over, we'll keep putting them down."
"Come here and get bit."
"Our bits cannot be bought."
"FoRK: We know bits better than you. So shut up."
"When we want your opinion, we'll give it to you."
"We've upped our standards, so up yours."
"You think you got problems? Try FoRK!"

[These quotes courtesy of Rohit's green book #2. Rohit, do they know
about the green books, or is that a secret?]

Anyway, back to the actual list...

> 15> Charmin: "Butt... Wipe... Err."

Even more charming with froggies.

> 14> Microsoft: "How much are you going to pay today?"

This isn't a slogan, this is reality.

> 13> Eggs: "The Incredible Edible Ovum."
> 12> MTV: "Loud and easy to spell."
> 11> Saks 5th Avenue: "You Could Shop Here if You're Poor, But That
> Would be Stupid."
> 10> Iguana: "The other green meat."

Which is the first green meat?

> 9> Penis Enlargement Specialists: "It Don't Mean a Thing If It
> Ain't Got That Swing!"
> 8> Nike: "Just buy the damn shoes, you flabby spineless lump!"

Uh, okay.

> 7> Daisy Air Rifles: "Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty
> years."
> 6> Canon Photocopiers: "Quit calling them Xeroxes, dammit!"

Think Tak-san might enjoy this slogan?

> 5> Pepto Bismol: "Squash the Squirts!"
> 4> Trojans: "Just add meat."

Especially nice juxtaposed.

> 3> Apple MacIntosh: "Hey, we thought of it first!"

Yeah, quit stealing from us already!

> 2> Radio Shack: "You've got questions, we've got geek losers!"
> 1> Professional Bowling on NBC: "Oh, why don't you just go ahead
> and kill yourself instead?"

Kind of anticlimactic, ain't it?


If a tree falls in a forest and lands on a politician,
even if you can't hear the tree or the screams,
I'll bet you'd at least hear some applause.
-- Paul Tindale