Unconditional love

Ernest Prabhakar (ernest@apple.com)
Wed, 13 Aug 97 12:00:29 -0700

I am not sure which threads were personal vs. FoRK-wide, so I'll just
start a new thread here.

I seem to remember an email where Adam claimed "unconditional love is just
a particular form of conditional love", since repeated 'abuse' of that
love would lead to its decline. Is that in any way correct? [And is
referring to a private email better than quoting from it? :-]

If that's the case, then I have to seriously disagree with your definition
of unconditional love. Perhaps you just meant "acceptance." For me,
unconditional love is precisely that love which will love you no matter
what you do or become. It does NOT imply unconditional trust. What it
does imply is that someone will actively seek and promote your welfare
even if you kick them out of your life.

The model for this is not just theological (though it appears prominently
in both Hebrew and Greek scriptures) but also familial. I KNOW my
parents would continue to love me no matter what I did to them, or myself.
Their love for me is not because of what I do, but in spite of it. It is
tied to the core immutable aspects of who I am, independent of behavior.

This is why love is such a remarkable thing. To discover someone who
loves and accepts you as and who you are. Where you don't need to worry
about performing for them, or hiding your dark side. Where it is
sufficient just to be.

In some ways, I have only recently begun to appreciate how momentous a
thing that is in my relationship with God, that even when I don't act like
a "good Christian" God still loves me. Experiencing that from another
human being (particularly of the attractive female variety) is a heady
experience, arguably because the potential commitment and intimacy level
is far greater than normal friendship.

This was a tangent off of several other points, but I figured it was worth
stating publicly. Those who want to respond privately in the other
contexts are welcome to do so.

If I incorrectly ascribed a sentiment to Adam which he does not hold, I apologize.

-- Ernie P.