Re: [Finding] the woman I want???

Ernest Prabhakar (
Wed, 13 Aug 97 14:21:12 -0700

I think I wrote:
>>I would invert the question. I would claim that the Goal is to
>>learn to love unconditionally (in my ontology, 'to love as God
>>loves.') The highest human expression of that is (ideally) in
>>the context of the family, and the challenge of marriage is
>>finding someone with whom one can pursue and experience that sort
>>of love as the foundation for a family. Thus, romantic
>>love/marriage is only a means to that higher end.

Tim wrote:
>I would agree. Now I know this might sound totally strange, but
>I am constantly influenced by my dogs. They are the purest examples
>of pure love that I have ever experienced. They really don't care
>where they are or what is going on as long as were together. Of
>course they're herding animals and they have a very storong "pack"

So, are we down to an anagram? I believe in God, Tim believes in dog?
Help, Wayne!

Not that I don't accept his analogy. The more girls I've dated, the more I
appreciate my dog.

Tim wrote:
>Every past
>girlfriend I have ever ran into, I always wonder what I saw in that person.
>Of course I remember the good times, but they have always to me been at
>that point stranger that I wouldn't stop and talk to.

Not to pound a sensitive nerve, but for me that would raise a red flag of
what are you seeking that drove you into a relationship in the first place.
As for me, I was actually thinking about how to get ahold of all the past
women in my life, as I would definitely want them at my wedding (if things
work out with the LA girl). Not to gloat over them (though I did consider
that) but because I consider them a valuable part of who I am, and who I've

Of course, to invoke the previous thread, my claim is that I am anchored in
who I am precisely through my relationship with the divine, and all my female
relationships are mediated the same way, hence I have one core invariant
amidst all the other changes.

In fact, I would see Tim's comment supporting Adam's viewpoint (not that
we're keeping score or anything :=). There is in fact the danger than the
method one uses to explore the many are incompatible with what it would take
find the ONE. Some good things do only come to those who wait.

-- Ernie P.