From: Gregory Alan Bolcer (email@example.com)
Date: Tue Nov 28 2000 - 15:10:34 PST
BTW, Thos didn't give me permission to repost this here, so
I left out a couple of words.
Managers love a good quotient. Here are
just a few to choose from.
There are too many quotients. There's
IQ. There's EQ, a measure of
emotional intelligence, popularized by
Daniel Goleman. James O'Toole, a
leadership expert at the University of
Southern California, talks about LQ, a
measure of one's leadership quotient.
Somewhere I heard about an AQ--I
think it was adaptability, but can't remember for certain. It
might have been adversity. Or I might have heard both. There
are too many to remember.
Or perhaps there are too few. I can think of several whose
absence I feel keenly. There's the MQ, for example. This is the
Machiavelli Quotient, a measure of one's ability to attain his
goals divided by how many scruples one has.
The RQ is similar: This is the Richard III quotient, and is a
special case of the MQ used when goals are enormous and the
divisor is less than one; it's plotted on a log scale.
The MQ and the RQ measure the behavior of bosses. The
response of subordinates is revealed by the QQ, or quantum
quotient, a measure of the abiity to leap, as in "Jump!" "How
[Or to be seen, but not observed? To be in two places at once? To
always never be observed in the same place as one's boss? GAB]
The VQ--vagueness quotient--is an excellent measure of
aptitude for a career in consulting, particularly technology
consulting. The VQ is the ratio of the number of words used by
speaker to the comprehension of his or her audience. The more
words and the less comprehension, the higher the VQ. The
higher the VQ, the longer you can go before people figure out
that you haven't solved their problems. Or, as I read on a
t-shirt in Singapore a few months ago, "If you can't convince
them, confuse them."
Speaking of Singapore, the SQ is the Singapore Airlines'
quotient: It measures the ability to arrive on time or otherwise
meet deadlines, provided you're on the right runway. In a least
squares analysis, this talent turns out to be positively correlated
with the ability to look good in batik.
The GQ is interesting. It refers to men's fashion--G as in
gabardine- but also to the unpleasant practice of leering at
women, in batik or not--G as an gawking. The name comes
from a men's magazine that combines the two.
The CQ is an Internet productivity measure. It reveals what
part of employees' time online is spent working versus chatting.
The BQ, or bullshit quotient, is so well known in corporate life as
to need no explanation.
As for the FQ, I quite agree.
-- Gregory Alan Bolcer | firstname.lastname@example.org | work: 949.833.2800 Chief Technology Officer | http://www.endtech.com | cell: 714.928.5476 Endeavors Technology, Inc. | efax: 603.994.0516 | wap: 949.278.2805
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